


How Can I Live When We Are Parted?

by Krissy, YourDearOldFriend



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon Era, Character Death, Crossdressing, F/M, One-Sided Enjolras/Grantaire, because it's Les Mis, but not named, technically all amis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 09:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11688813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krissy/pseuds/Krissy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourDearOldFriend/pseuds/YourDearOldFriend
Summary: What if instead of delivering Marius' letter to Valjean, Eponine had handed it directly to Cosette? What if she decided to go to the barricade to save her beloved instead of her father?





	How Can I Live When We Are Parted?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, 
> 
> so I've always had that headcanon 'what if Cosette went to the barricade instead of Valjean?' And now I've written the matching story. :>
> 
> Would it still be the same? Worse maybe? Would she still be able to save Marius? Read to find out! ^^
> 
> (Because major character death is totally not in the tags....)
> 
> Aaand please excuse any mistakes since English is not my first language and feel free to correct them!

"Wait!" Cosette stumbled towards the gate, the girl on the other side stopped, turning around slowly. She knew her, but she looked so different. Older, taller and... dirtier. It has always been the other way around. Eponine was the neat and cute and loved girl and she was the dirty, unloved girl with the sad eyes. But now...

Cosette closed her fingers around the bars of the gate, eyeing the other girl worryingly. She wore a filthy hat on top of her brown messy hair, up in a knot, a long dirty coat and worn boots, her face was dirty as well, but her green eyes still looked like back then. Only sadder. 

"I know you. We were children together, right? Eponine?"

Cosette saw her hesitating, glancing up at her face, then quickly stepping toward her, handing her a small crumbled piece of paper. 

"From Marius." 

Her voice was quiet and she looked even sadder than before, Cosette felt her heart beating faster. From Marius?  
What did he write? And why did he sent her? Why didn't he come himself? Was he well? She swallowed, with shaking hands opening the letter. 

_Dearest Cosette,_  
_you have entered my soul ___  
_and soon you will be gone ___  
_can it be only a day since we met ___  
_and the world was reborn ___  
_if I should fall in battle ___  
_let this be my goodbye ___  
_now that I know you love me as well ___  
_it is harder to die ___  
_I pray that god will bring me home ___  
_to be with you _  
_pray for your Marius __he prays for you_____

___It read in Marius clean, small handwriting, she read the words over and over. In battle? Was he going to fight? Was he one of the student revolutionaries, she heard about, even though her father always tried to keep all that away from her? What if he would die? There was a chance after all. Would she never see him again? No, that couldn't be... He couldn't just leave her! After what had been between them... They couldn't even say goodbye to each other. Tomorrow she would leave to England and they would never meet again. If he was even still alive by then._ _ _

_____ _

She looked up, back in Eponines eyes, but she was gone. Where did she go? To Marius? To die as well? Cosette felt tears stinging in her eyes, wiped them away quickly. 

Why were they all leaving her? Why was it always just her and her father? Why could she have no one else in her life?  
She couldn't just let him die. Not with the knowledge that she went to England and would never come back.  
Not after the sweet moments they shared in this very garden...  
He was the first person who showed love to her. Not like a father, but different. The first one, she really loved.  
She couldn't simply lose him...

She shook her head, crushing the paper in her fist and shoving it into the pocket of her dress. 

No, that wasn't something she could let happen. Should she tell her father? No.  
He would probably insist on their immediate departure... She had to go alone. To the barricade. 

A cold shiver ran down her spine as she made her way back to the house, entering as quiet as possible, to not wake her father, sneaking up the stairs into her bedroom. She grabbed a coat, the small knife she hid under her pillow and wanted to step out of the door again, as a thought came to her mind. 

She couldn't go like this. She couldn't simply enter this barricade, she didn't even know what it looked like, couldn't imagine it really, not as a woman. They wouldn't let her in. Perhaps the guards would even bring her home. 

Cosette sat down in front of her mirror, hurriedly tying up her blonde hair, putting on a hat similar to Eponine's earlier, from her father. She then took off her dress, putting on pants and a white shirt instead, taking a coat from her father and closing it tightly. This should do. 

Halfway down the stairs she stopped.  
It was dangerous, she knew that. And what would her father do when he woke up the next morning and she was gone? And perhaps would never come back. Would he blame himself for not taking care of her? For failing her mother? God, she couldn't think of that now. If she hesitated for much longer it would be too late. 

"Forgive me, papa...", she whispered, before hurrying down the stairs and out of the house. In the garden she quickly smeared some dirt on her cheeks and then left her home. 

It was a long and cold way to the Rue de Villette, it had started raining and it was already dark outside. She was scared, in the distance there were gunshots and the sound of people shouting. She had to be almost there. She had to be careful, if she didn't want to be discovered. So she tried to stay in the shadows, not taking the main road, but the side alleys. 

Taking a few deep and shaky breaths she hurried towards the sound, until they were so near, she could make out what they were saying. 

"Enjolras, we need more ammunition! The rain makes everything useless..." 

Cosette frowned, slowing her steps. She could see the barricade from here, the lights, the red flag on top of it and shadows behind all the furniture. She took her chance. 

She hurried towards it, staying in the shadows until she reached the furniture barricade, was about to climb it, even though she didn't know how to manage that, as someone grabbed her arm, pulling her back into the shadows. 

She gasped, frightened, quickly trying to grab her knife, but before she could pull it out of her pocket, she realized that the person was Eponine. 

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, the grip on her arm tight, her eyes wide and shocked. Cosette felt her heart beating, but was relived it was just her. 

"I... I can't let Marius die... I need to see him."

"You can't be here... It's too dangerous."

"You are here too."

"But I-...", she stopped and sighed, letting go of her. Cosette watched her, biting her lip, Eponine gazed up at the barricade then nodded slowly. So she had been right, the brunette was here as well. Because of Marius too? They were friends, weren't they? 

"Alright... But... be careful." 

Cosette nodded, wanting to follow her up the barricade, but she gestured for her to go first. 

"Take care. Don't slip." 

"I will...", she breathed, slowly made her way up the big pile of furniture. There were chairs and tables, beds, pianos and even coffins. She swallowed, taking a deep breath. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Eponine following her. 

It was more difficult than she would have thought. The wood was slippery, the barricade high, she jumped when she heard a loud noise, almost loosing her grip, if not for Eponine who tightly grabbed her by the wrist. Just then she realized it had been a shot. 

"Quick, get down!", a foreign voice said, someone grabbed her upper arm and pulled her over the barricade, as well as helped Eponine over a table. She held her breath, feeling the stranger gently pushing her down, out of the guards visor. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest, she was sure he could hear it. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, glancing at him carefully. 

It certainly wasn't Marius. Blue eyes, that determinedly searched for the hidden guard behind them, blonde locks that hung into his youthful, pretty face. Strong arms that held her down, although he noticed that his hands were soft, his breath was calm and warm on her face. He was so young, they all were barely even older than Marius and herself. Too young to die...

"Are you well?", the blonde asked, his voice was as beautiful as his face. She managed to nod, staring at the boy. He pushed a curl out of his face, let go of her and climbed back down the barricade. She blinked, trying to calm her breathing and looked around. They were about ten and more people, men and women, even though only the men carried weapons. 

Eponine was sat next to her, glancing at her thoughtfully, she adjusted her hat, looking at the other girl uncertainly.  
She didn't seem scared. Merely concerned. 

"What do you want to do now? Convince him to come with you? If he finds out you are here, he will take you home." 

"I-I... I just don't want him to get hurt.  
I want to protect him..." 

Eponine opened her mouth to say something, perhaps that she couldn't do that, that she wasn't capable, but all she did was sigh and smile softly. 

"That's something we have in common then." 

Cosette smiled back hesitantly, took her hand as she helped her down the barricade. The blonde approached them again, he must be the leader of this rebellion, Cosette supposed, handing them both a weapon. 

"I thank you both for joining us. Take care of yourself..." 

She nodded again, hesitantly took the weapon. She didn't know how to use it, God, she couldn't kill anyone... Shakingly she examined the gun, it felt cold and heavy in her hands, she never held one before. How should she even defend herself and more important Marius? The blonde seemed to notice that something was wrong, patted her shoulder encouragingly. 

"I know. But don't be scared. This is for a greater future."

So he knew, no, he was ready to die. He was willing to die. Were they all? Even Marius? She looked around for him, no longer paying attention to the leader.  
There were all kinds of men, but they were all young. Students. 

She saw Eponine talking to a man with dark curly hair, standing beneath another blonde one with glasses, he was gesturing to the other side of the barricade.

"Do you know how to use a gun?"

Cosette snapped out of her thoughts, focusing the blonde boy again, quickly shaking her head. 

"Mind if I show you?" 

She shook her head again, not daring to speak in fear of her voice giving away her true self, he smiled weakly, taking the weapon out of her hand once again, pointing it towards the barricade. 

"Hold it like this, one hand here and one at the trigger. Don't be afraid to pull it. If you're shaking too much just hold your breath before you do so. Aim for the heads, the chest, anything that kills. Try to be fast and don't hesitate.  
One second too late and you are dead."

She nodded, staring at him with wide eyes. He talked so easily of killing people, when in reality he had to be just as scared as she was. No one here had killed someone before this... 

"Understood?" 

"Understood...", she whispered, he handed the gun back to her before getting called over to his friends. 

"Enjolras, I need you here for a second." 

He nodded at her, before joining the others. So Enjolras was his name. He didn't introduce himself. It didn't seem to matter. She gazed at the gun, remembering what he had taught her. Did she have to do that? Kill someone? 

"Oh God..." She breathed out, suddenly feeling dizzy. She had come here to see Marius and hadn't even found him yet. But he had to be here and he had to be still alive. No one had died yet. Right? She supported herself on the gun, continued to look around.  
He wasn't one of the three men next to Enjolras, or with Eponine and he wasn't one of the men on top of the barricade looking for the guards. Where else could he be? She made his way to one man sitting on a chair, silently cleaning his weapon. He looked up when she stood next to him, bright green eyes in contrast to his red hair, smiling like all this didn't happened. 

"I haven't seen you here before. What's your name?" 

She hesitated, before stepping closer, not knowing if she should even talk to him. What would happen if someone would find out? Would they send her away? There were other women here but they didn't seem to fight. Maybe they would leave when the fight started. She shivered even by the thought of it. 

"I'm..." She hadn't even thought of a boys name. She didn't know many.  
"Sébastien."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Jehan", he smiled, continued to clean his weapon. Why did he do that? She swallowed glanced at her own gun. 

"Here...", Jehan said, handing her the cloth, when she noticed something. On the very left side of the barricade two people were sitting, one dark haired man with a beard and a bottle of wine in his hand, beside him, finally, Marius.  
Oh, how she had missed him. He looked so scared, even though the bearded man handed him the bottle and he took a good sip. But he was alive and well and looked still as wonderful as when they had first met. 

She forgot the red haired, started stepping towards her beloved, when suddenly someone held her back and a moment later, she heard footsteps coming from the other side of the barricade. 

"Students!"

She turned around facing Eponine once again, who slightly shook her head. She glanced over at Marius, who had jumped up, the man beside him had not moved a bit. 

Enjolras was climbing on top of the barricade, gesturing to them all to be ready to shoot. Cosette tightly held onto her gun, staring at the blonde boy with wide eyes, frozen in her place. Her heart beat heavily in her chest, her breath was fast and everything was going a bit numb. She was scared, so scared. Was she going to die? She had known that this would be dangerous, of course. And she went anyway. For Marius. So she just had to do her best to protect him. And herself. 

She took a deep breath, feeling Eponine's hands on her shoulders, blinked and looked at her. 

"Are you not feeling well? You are quite pale..."

"I'm scared...", she whispered back. "But I'm alright. I think." 

She nodded. 

"We need to stay away from Marius. We can only protect him, if we have a good overview." 

Cosette nodded slowly, even though she ached to speak to him, to touch him, to hug him. But she was right. She wouldn't help him if she was always around him, perhaps she would even hinder him while fighting. 

"Come with me."

Eponine began to climb the barricade, she followed carefully, hiding behind a table next to her. She held her gun tightly, aiming over the edge of the table, Cosette tried to do the same. 

There were guards walking towards them, they outnumbered them by far, all of them carrying weapons and aiming for them. 

"Fire!", someone shouted and Cosette felt like her heart stopped beating. The bullets hit the table on the other side, she gasped, closed her eyes shut. It was so loud suddenly, the smoke of the rifles thick and smoky in the air. She was shaking, she was so scared she couldn't even move. 

"Hey..." She felt a hand touching hers, opened her eyes and stared back in Eponine's green ones.

"You're safe if you stay hidden. Try to aim and shoot when they are reloading their weapons." 

She managed a nod, breathing in deeply, before peaking over the table, laying her gun on the edge of it. She spotted a young guard at the front, frowning biting his lip and reloading his weapon. He was the same age as Enjolras and his people. She put her finger on the trigger, trying to aim for his chest, where his heart would be, waited until he had shot again and began to reload his gun once more.  
Now. 

Her finger didn't move. She couldn't bring herself to do so. Shoot that man. Kill him. She couldn't. She was shaking so much, tried to remember what Enjolras had said, and held her breath but it didn't do anything. Tears started dwelling in her eyes, for a second she blamed it on the smoke, but knew it wasn't because of it. 

Why did they do this? For the greater good, for a better future, he had said. But was it worth it? The deaths of so many, the loss for all their families?  
The murder of innocent people; all these men were simply doing their jobs... Why did they think they could change something? It was so brave and  
hopeful and promising, but equally dangerous and reckless. It wasn't worth it.

"Cosette, watch out!", she heard Eponine say, quickly looked up, to see one of the guards aiming in their direction. Frozen, she didn't manage to move, just stared at him, when everything went into slow motion. The guard pulled the trigger, she closed her eyes, waited for the pain to hit her.

Instead something hit her head, she tightly closed her eyes, before realizing someone pressed her down against the barricade to shield her from the bullets.  
The shots were still echoing around them, she felt a hot, fast breath hit her neck.

"Stay down...", he said, she slowly began to open her eyes. The red haired boy from earlier kneeled beside her, aiming for the soldiers, a determined look in his face, he pulled the trigger. 

She heard a loud groan, then the horrible sound of a body that hit the ground. Jehan, his name was she remembered, took cover again, reloading his gun, casting her a brief glance. Did he kill them? How could he just shoot that man? She still had a loud ringing in her ears from the shot, the smoke surrounding them hung thick in the air. 

"Are you alright?"

Cosette nodded, sitting up a bit, with shaking hands grabbing her gun. He had saved her life. She would be dead if not for him. He looked at her, she thought to see a wary look in his eyes, he frowned, leaning closer to her, she quickly pulled the hat down to hide her face, hoping he didn't notice. 

"You... are you a-" 

"Marius, what the hell are you doing?" 

By the mention of his name her gaze shot up, eyes quickly searching for her beloved. And she spotted him, climbing up the barricade a small barrel in his hand, a torch in the other.  
What was he doing? 

"Marius..." He heard Jehan whisper, horrified, he gently pushed her aside, slowly made his way up to his friend.  
Enjolras was already with him, holding his hand out to him. What was happening? What was in that barrel? 

"Go away! Leave us be or I'll blow up the barricade!" 

"Blow it up and take yourself with it!", one of the soldiers shouted back, Cosette escaped a shocked gasp. No, he wouldn't do that... Not her Marius...  
Horrified she watched him bringing the torch closer to the barrel, what she knew now had to contain black powder. 

"God, Marius what are you doing?" She heard Eponine whisper, she climbed next to her. 

"Eponine, t-tell me that is not what it looks like-"

"Yes it is." 

She couldn't look. Turned to the brunette girl, tightly biting her lip.  
If one of the guards would shoot and hit the barrel, he would be dead as well as Enjolras and the other men next to him. It couldn't work, they would never give in to that... But-

"Back! Everyone go back!", the soldier shouted and the guards left the barricade indeed, backing off in the shadows and alleys down the street.  
She breathed in deeply, gazing back up at Marius and Enjolras, they climbed back down, the blonde seemed to be talking to him quietly. 

He saved them. He saved them all. She wanted to go to him, hug him, and disappear from here, but she couldn't.  
His friends surrounded him, began to talk to him loudly, some were thankful, some outraged. She saw Eponine climbing down, wanting to follow her, as she was once again held back. 

"Who are you?" 

She turned around, saw the bearded man from earlier, the one with the wine bottle standing in front of her. He looked as scared as she must've herself. 

"Who are you?", she asked back, her voice nothing but a weak whisper. 

"Grantaire. And you?" 

He took a sip out of the bottle, sitting down on a chair, gesturing for her to join him. 

"I'm Sébastien..."

"Sure. And your real name is?"

She swallowed, stared at him. How did he know? Did he see? What would he do? Would he send her away? 

"C-Cosette...", she stuttered, sitting down next to him, looking at him with pleading eyes. 

"Please don't tell anyone!"

"Cosette? I could've sworn I heard that name before..." 

Cosette watched him emptying the bottle, throwing it aside. 

"If I could only remember where..."

He shrugged, leaned forward to look at her. He had grey-blue eyes, holding a sad gaze, dark locks that hung into his face, he pushed them aside carelessly. 

"What are you doing here? Oh, let me guess: You're not here to fight, aren't you?"

"W-what else?"

He looked over his shoulder, glancing at their leader and sighing. Cosette frowned. Was he here for the fight?  
Did he believe in this rebellion? He had to, they all did. 

He turned his head back at her and she noticed his eyes held the same gaze as Eponines. This sad, longing gaze. She bit her lip, looking at Enjolras again.  
He sat on top of the barricade, staring in front of him, seemingly lost in thoughts. Then at Grantaire who buried his face in his hands, shaking his head.  
No, he didn't want to fight... He was just as scared as she was, just as hopeless. 

Hesitantly she reached out, putting her hand gently on his shoulder. He didn't move, she heard him breathing in shakingly. 

"I'm scared too...", she whispered, didn't know what to say. She rarely spoke to other people than her father, especially no men. But she wanted to show him some comfort. 

"The truth is..." Grantaire said, slightly shaking his head, before lifting his head and looking at her, a hint of despair in his eyes. "... I'm not even scared for myself..."

Again she watched his gaze wander to their blond leader, his expression changing and suddenly she realized. 

"I understand. You love him."

Grantaire bit his lip, shaking his head with a bitter expression, before grabbing a new wine bottle and opening it. 

"Doesn't matter. It's ridiculous. We're all going to die anyway. So I make the best out of my life while I still have it." He smiled tiredly, lifting the bottle as if to toast to something, before taking another sip.

"Does he know that you're in love with him?" 

It would be horrible if he would die without knowing of it, without Grantaire confessing it to him... It must be such a big burden on him. He laughed.

"No, God no. He would despise me more than he does already. He would not understand."

Cosette turned to the blonde man, still sitting between a chair and a broken cupboard on the barricade, his eyes closed, resting his chin on his hands.  
They must all be so tired. And how long would it take until the soldiers would come back? Not long surely. 

"But...-"

"You didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

She lowered her head, biting her lip, before whispering.

"Out of the same reason as you. I don't want him to die."

Grantaire nodded slowly, his tired gaze wandering over to all of his friends, again staying on Enjolras. 

"You are the girl Marius talked about...  
You're brave to have come here. I didn't think you would die for him, for someone... But I guess... so would I..."

He sighed, taking her hand in his.

"Cosette, right? I beg of you, go from here. No one here is going to make it out alive of this... But we are all here because we are ready to die. We know that it is going to happen. But you... you're young and beautiful, have your whole life before you. It's not worth it."

Cosette swallowed, returning the gaze into his blue eyes, feeling his hand tightly grabbing hers. 

"You... You are not much older than I am. You don't deserve this either. Imagine a future, Grantaire. You could tell Enjolras what you feel, perhaps he doesn't reject you. Imagine he likes you too. Why throw your life away like that?" 

He looked like he was about to cry.  
And she felt tears dwelling in her eyes too. They all were so young. They all deserved better. 

"I have nothing to live for, I never had.  
Not without him." 

She took his hand in hers, squeezing it empathically barely noticing the tear that rolled down her cheek, but Grantaire did. 

"Don't cry. Marius loves you as you love him. And he wouldn't want you to be here. He would want you to live. So go from here. Before it is too late." 

He let go of her, standing up and taking the bottles with him. Turned around to her once more. 

"But I am not one to stop you. Take care, Cosette." 

He smiled weakly, before leaving and sitting down at the left side of the barricade, next to his friends. Cosette breathed in shakingly, watching them from afar. They started to sing, joined by the other woman, Grantaire raised his bottle, someone shouted at him and Enjolras climbed down the barricade. The blonde stopped him, pulling the bottle from his hands. She wondered what he said, she saw his lips moving.  
Grantaire didn't say anything, he only shook his head, before sinking against Enjolras' chest, the leader putting his arms around him a moment after. She smiled softly, at least they had this moment. She desperately wanted to go over to Marius, embrace him in the same way, but she couldn't bring herself to. She had to remain distance to protect him. Even though she almost gave in when she saw how sad he looked. Eponine sat down next to him, he put an arm around her, pulling her close. 

At least she was there for him. She smiled tiredly, leaning back against a piece of furniture. Closed her eyes. She was feeling tired, exhausted, her muscles hurt from climbing and carrying that heavy gun. And she felt cold. 

It was then, she heard steps getting closer, opened her eyes slowly. It was Enjolras, with an empathetic, but forced smile he handed her a blanket. 

"Rest..." 

"Thank you...", she murmured, when he carefully draped it around her shoulders, then surprisingly sat down next to her. 

"I saw you talking with Grantaire... did he... say anything?" 

"About?" She asked, adjusting her hat again. Grantaire didn't seem to mind, but he would surely send her away if he found out she was a woman. 

"About... me?" He sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"Actually... forget I asked, it's stupid-"

"It's not!" She grabbed his hand before she could stop herself, Enjolras looked down, then back into her face. 

"He... he said, he is scared about you."

"Yes, I... could see that." 

He glanced back at his friend, sitting next to Marius, his eyes closed, frowned.

"He... I never knew, that he cared about me."

"He does... more than you think."

Enjolras glanced at her, she didn't know if he understood but he nodded slowly. 

"Alright. Now try to get some sleep. Do not worry, I'll take the watch."

"Enjolras."

He stopped, looking at her once again questiongly.

"Are you sure you - _we _are doing the right thing?"__

____

"We are. It might not seem like it now. But it will be. If not for us, then for those who come after us. Believe me..."

She nodded lightly, still not convinced, carefully tugging a blonde strand of hair under her hat. He was the perfect leader, good with words and with actions. He frowned, eyeing her closer for a moment. 

"Do I... know you from somewhere?"

She froze, slowly shaking her head.

"Not that I know of. Perhaps you have seen me somewhere in the city..."

"I don't know..." He smiled weakly, blinking irritated, but shook his head. 

"Anyway... let's try to get some sleep." 

"Thank you..."

He patted her shoulder, then started to climb the barricade again, to be on the look out. She wrapped the blanket around herself, closed her eyes. 

 

"Quickly, everyone get your weapons!" 

Cosette jumped, opening her eyes, sitting up quickly. Everyone was already grabbing their guns and climbing up the barricade, she stared at them horrified, her heart beating faster again.  
From the other side she heard footsteps, the soldiers came back. 

Hurriedly she grabbed her gun, joined Jehan on the barricade, hid behind a table above a wooden piano. She glanced over to Marius, who stood next to Enjolras, aiming for the soldiers. He was so brave, they all were. Even Eponine. And she was just so scared. For all of them. 

"Shit...", she heard the red haired boy next to her mumble, watched him emptying some ammunition out of his gun. 

"It's useless through the rain. Everything is w-"

A loud shot echoed through the air she twitched and he stopped, she heard him gasp silently, then he fell backwards down the barricade, landed with a dissonant, loud noise on the piano, his green eyes blinked once more, then closed. 

Not able to move she stared at him, watching blood dying his white shirt red in an alarming fast way.

"Oh my God", she breathed out, in shock slowly slid down behind the table a bit to hide from the bullets, forcing herself to look away, eyes searching for Marius. She found him at the other end of the barricade, climbing down to help a dark haired boy she had seen earlier. 

And suddenly a rush of adrenaline run through her veins, she tightly grabbed her gun, was about to made his way to him, when a bullet shot through the table directly next to her, teared her sleeve and grazed her upper arm. She froze in her place, examining her arm, it was bleeding but only slightly. She couldn't get away from here, the guards knew where she was hiding.  
She had to defend herself. 

Breathing in deeply, she tried to focus.  
Carefully turned around, lifting the gun and aiming between two chairs. The guard who had shot was reloading his gun, she held her breath, pulled the trigger. The recoil almost made her fall back, but she saw the guard dropping his weapon, seemed to have hit his arm. Quickly she took her chance, hurriedly climbed down the barricade, rushed towards Marius. She had almost made it to him, when someone pulled her down again, shielding her from the bullets hitting the coffin.

"I told you to be careful, Cosette!"

The scent of wine surrounded her, she glanced up into Grantaires blue eyes. There was fear in them, and even though she had never seen him without a bottle, he seemed almost sober. 

"I am..." She breathed back, he merely nodded, let go of her and gestured up to Enjolras, who was fighting with the rifle of a soldier in front of him who had managed to climb the barricade. Several times he came dangerously close to falling down or getting stabbed, she bit her lip, didn't want to look. 

"Go help him.", Grantaire begged, gesturing to his leg, which seemed to be bleeding.

"I can hardly move. I... I'll be watching you from here..."

"Alright. Take care..." 

He nodded weakly, leaning back against the coffin. She breathed in deeply, grabbing her weapon, began to climb the barricade to reach the leader, who again was struggling with the gun of the guard. Once again shots rang through the night, she ducked quickly, but accidentally let go of her weapon, it dropped down between some furniture, she bit her lip, pulling the knife out of her pocket.  
That had to do.

Cosette climbed further until she stood next to Enjolras, who briefly glanced at her, finally managed to shove back the soldier, what only resulted in him being replaced by two others. Cosette held out her knife to have at least something in defense. One of the guards grabbed her by the arm, trying to pry the knife from her fingers, she managed to kick him in the shin, pushing him down, when he buckled. Heavily breathing and with a racing heart she turned to Enjolras, in time to see the guard plunging his sword into his shoulder. 

She gasped, hearing him groan in pain, trying to push him away, she hurried to him, grabbing the man by the arm, only then realizing it was the young guard she had aimed at earlier. Swallowing, she tightly gripped the knife, raised her hand and stabbed it into his arm. He screamed in pain and Enjolras used the moment to tear the weapon out of his hand, pushing him down with it.  
The guard dissappeared and Enjolras put his hand out for her, stumbling back. 

"Fuck..." He held his shoulder, she laid her arm around him, clenching her teeth. 

"Come..." 

Enjolras' weight was light on her shoulder, she heard his strained breathing, yet he seemed determined to not show any weakness. 

She helped him down the barricade, shot Grantaire a brief glance, but he had his eyes closed. Hearing hurried steps, she looked up, held her breath when Marius rushed to her side to help her. 

"You're hurt, Enjolras..." 

"It's fine...", he mumbled, biting his lip, Marius frowned worried, then his gaze met hers. His eyes widened as he realized, he almost let go of Enjolras.

"Cosette...", he said tonelessly and she couldn't surpress a light smile, opened her mouth to answer him, when she felt a hand on her shoulder, turned her head. 

A young men with reddish-brown hair slung his arm around Enjolras' waist, already pressing a cloth on the wound on his shoulder. 

"It's alright, I take him. Thank you both...  
Enjolras, what happened?" 

He helped him sit down in a few meters distance, began to treat his wound. He was safe now. She turned to Marius. The boy stared at her in disbelief, seemingly could not believe that she really stood here in front of him. 

"Marius..." She whispered, taking his hand. God, she was so glad to see him again, to touch him again... He was still alive, he was well. Slowly a smile appeared on her lips, she pulled him closer, squeezed his hand. 

"Cosette... what are you doing here? I thought you... I thought I'd never see you again..." 

"I sneaked away. I needed to see you again..." 

"But it is so dangerous... You need to go. See what happened to Enjolras. To Courfeyrac and Grantaire. And Jehan..."

She stared up at him, slowly shaking her head. The look in his eyes was so scared and sad and hopeless, she could see how desperately he didn't want to die. Now that she was here as well. 

"I'm here to bring you home. I can't let you die... I... I love you, Marius." 

"I... you know I love you too... But you can't. I must stay here, I'm with Enjolras."

"If you're with Enjolras, I'm with him too. I will not leave you."

Marius sighed, pulling her closer.

"You have to... Please. For your own good. I don't want to get you hurt... or worse. You go from here and... and I promise you, when this is over I will find you and marry you."

Her smile widened, she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. It felt like the world had stopped around them for a moment, there were just the two of them. 

"I would love to believe you. But you can't promise me that. You don't know if you survive this..."

"I will. For you. We all will." 

He squeezed her hand encouragingly, promising, she looked around dubiously. Most of the students were hurt, taking care of others or were taken care of. Enjolras was getting his shoulder bandaged, the dark haired man, Courfeyrac, Marius had called him, seemed to be unconscious as well as Jehan, she didn't dare to think them already dead. Grantaire was drinking again.

"But you have to go. Go home and wait for me. This is no place for you, Cosette. What will your father say?"

"Only if you come with me."

Marius shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. 

"My place is here. With my friends." 

"Then mine is here too."

"Cosette, please-" 

"No" , she cut him off, even though everything in her wanted nothing more than to get away from here. With him. 

"I'd rather die with you than run away alone. And never see you again." 

He pulled her into a tight hug, she closed her eyes, breathing in his warm scent, cuddling closer to him. She didn't want to let go, she wanted to take him away from here, to live...

"Marius..." Someone said and she slowly pulled away, looking up at the man with the glasses. 

"We need you..." His voice was quiet, he gestured behind him to where his friends were sitting, clearly in need of medical assistance. Then he leaned closer, murmuring a bit quieter:

"Your friend... Please..." 

"I'm coming."

Marius looked at her again.

"Please. Go home."

"No." 

He sighed, then gently stroke her cheek, smiled weakly. 

"Then promise me to take care of yourself. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I will."

Relieved that he wouldn't send her away, she followed him to the other students. And realized Eponine was with them as well, sitting next to Enjolras on the floor, covering a wound on her ribs with her hands, her eyes were closed. Cosette frowned worryingly, kneeled before her.

"Eponine?"

Marius sat down beside her, carefully taking her hand in his. The brunette girl opened her eyes, smiling weakly at him. 

"Will you be alright?", he asked quietly, she shrugged, then gazed at Cosette.

"What a beautiful pair you are... You two shouldn't be here." 

"We will not go anywhere." Marius assured her, squeezing her hand. She smiled tiredly, closing her eyes again. 

"Rest..." he murmured, then moved to Enjolras, who glanced at them weakly.

"Marius... tell me... Was I really that blind to not notice your beloved saving my life?"

Cosette smiled gently at him, shaking her head.

"It does not matter now. Rest. Is your wound cleaned?" 

"It is." He clenched his teeth, sitting up slowly, holding his shoulder. 

"But he is right. You can't stay here. You need to leave. It's not like I don't believe you can fight, I've seen that, but... I don't want you to. You will get hurt... Perhaps you will die." 

Cosette shuddered at the thought, but nodded slightly. 

"I know. I will stay anyway." 

He smiled weakly, pushing himself up. She watched him worried supporting himself on his weapon. 

"It's your choice... But mark my words."

She nodded, noticing how his eyes were searching around over her shoulder. Had he talked to Grantaire already? It didn't seem like it. Soon it could be too late...

"What are you looking for?"

"Grantaire? I don't see him... is he alright?" 

"He is hurt I think..." 

She turned around, couldn't see him neither, but he surely wasn't far. He wouldn't leave Enjolras' side. 

"But he's gonna be fine?" 

So he did care about him. He cared about them all, even about her. 

"I hope so." 

Enjolras nodded, pushing his blonde hair out of his pretty face, turned around. 

"I'll try to-" 

In that moment sounded a loud bang of a shot followed by a scream, they both turned around to the barricade, just to see one man desperately shaking his friend by the shoulders who seemed to be hit by a bullet. Who seemed to be... Dead. Shocked, she glanced at Enjolras, she knew that this was going to happen sooner or later and that not everyone would survive, not everyone's wounds would heal again, but this cold, terrifying feeling of fear was overwhelming. He had lost one of his friends and who knew how many would follow and she could lose Marius too... 

Enjolras stared up at his two friends with wide blue eyes, before closing them briefly, visibly trying to keep his posture, to not let it get too close to him. Even though she could see him shaking. This was all so horrible...

"Marius!", he then said turning to her beloved, who was kneeling next to Courfeyrac together with the other blonde one, whose name she still didn't know. 

"Come with me. Combeferre, you too.  
And you-" He turned to her, took a step forward, grabbing her by the shoulders, looking seriously directly into her eyes.

"You stay down here, no matter what happens, understood?" 

She nodded quickly, watching the three of them climbing up the barricade. She prayed that they would not get hurt, nor get killed. She wanted to look away, but couldn't. She was scared, so scared that something happened to them, to Marius. Just one second of carelessness and it could be the end. He could be shot or deadly wounded and there was nothing she could do to prevent it, she had no weapon, the ammunition was wet and useless and she had dropped the knife while stabbing that soldier. She could only watch. 

Breathing in shakily she went back to the injured ones, perhaps she could at least be of some assistance there. 

She spotted Grantaire sitting next to Jehan, he was clearly trying to get the red haired boy to drinking some wine, although he shook his head.

Cosette joined them, sitting down in front of the brown curled boy, eyeing them worriedly. 

"Are your wounds taken care of?"

Jehan nodded weakly, while Grantaire still tried to make him drink the wine.

"There is not much we can do...", he mumbled, his gaze so sad and hopeless, he lifted the bottle to the injured ones lips.

"Please, it will lessen the pain..."

"I... don't feel any pain...", he whispered, pushing away his hands weakly. "It's alright, R..."

Grantaire sighed, lowering his head, burying his face in his hands. Cosette tried to ignore the deafening sounds of the guns and tears that again began to dwell in her eyes. They knew it was over. They were defeated, they wouldn't survive. There were to many soldiers. 

They were so young. Why didn't they run away? No one did...

She gently touched Grantaire's shoulder, he looked up at her tiredly.  
Trying a smile, she patted his shoulder, turned to the barricade, just to see Marius quickly ducking behind a chair to not get hit by the bullets, Enjolras gripping onto a shelf and Combeferre trying to fight of a soldier who tried to climb over the barricade. She held her breath, as he fought with him, dodging him once, backing off, before the soldier managed to raise his gun, aiming at his chest. Before he could react, he pulled the trigger, causing him to freeze in place, sinking onto his knees and collapsing against Enjolras. 

She closed her eyes, lowering her head, it hurt to see them dying. For nothing.  
This wouldn't do anything for a better future. She held back her tears, feeling Grantaire pulling her closer, leaned against his shoulder, shivering. It was horrible, she wanted to do nothing more than flee from here, take Marius with her and run back home to her father. Opening her eyes she glanced over Grantaire's shoulder at Enjolras and Marius, the former one leaning over his friend, shaking his shoulders, he was saying something she could not hear over the gunshots, while her beloved still aimed for the soldiers to keep them away. He shot one or too, she closed her eyes again. Feared that if she would open them again, look at them he would be the next one to die. 

"Enjolras..." He heard Grantaire whisper, fear in his voice. He feared the same as she, she breathed in shakily clinging closer to him until he gently pushed her away. 

"I need to get to him... stay here. Or run away."

Cosette shook her head, holding onto his sleeve, turning to Marius, who climbed down the barricade together with Enjolras, trying to dodge the bullets. They almost were at the bottom, when one of the soldiers managed to climb over the barricade,  
aiming for them, she gasped horrified, but wasn't able to look away. 

He pulled the trigger and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see someone die again. 

When she opened them again, she had to see Enjolras supporting Marius who held his shoulder, sunk to his knees.  
No... He couldn't die... Not him.

"No...", she breathed out, everything suddenly going numb, she could hear her own heart beating, her breath going fast, she barely noticed Grantaire  
letting go of her, hurrying over to Enjolras. She wanted to help, but she couldn't move, she felt like everything was spinning around her, she focused on Marius, watching Enjolras and Grantaire both leaning over him and snapped out of her rigid. 

Everything felt like in slow motion, she didn't even stumble to her feet, merely crawled towards him, her eyes widening in horror as she saw how badly his shoulder was bleeding. He was still conscious, tears of pain streaming down his face.

"Marius..." She heard herself whisper, with shaking hands pushing his hair out of his face. Enjolras and Grantaire were hugging, she could see the blond boy crying as well, he had just lost a friend, more than one. And he would lose the others too. Including his own life. 

She watched him patting Grantaire on his shoulder, nodding with a bitter, but determined expression, letting go of him. She heard the other one mumbling his name, desperately, not wanting him to go. 

"I know... I'm sorry", Enjolras whispered back, his voice shaking, prying his wrist out of his grip, turning towards the barricade. Grantaire shook his head, but let him go and suddenly she knew, he would not come back. She wouldn't talk to him again, look in his eyes again, because he wouldn't make it back.

She tightly grabbed Marius' hand, blinking the tears away, watching the leader climbing up that barricade again, he didn't even have a weapon, but he also would not give up.

"Enjolras..." He heard Grantaire whisper, then he got up to follow him, she tried to grab his hand, but he was alreading heading toward the barricade, climbing it, for the first time this night. 

Marius groaned and she looked at him, then back at them. Saw Enjolras on top of the barricade, waving the red flag before throwing it at the soldiers, hearing the shots, she saw him stumble back before falling forward down the other side of the barricade. _No, oh God.. ___

____

She covered her mouth with her hand in shock, horrified watched Grantaire storm after him, throwing his bottle aside and getting shot right there on top of the pile of furniture. Everything went blurry from the tears in her eyes, she couldn't believe she would never see them again, never talk to them again, they were just... dead. And she would die too and so would Marius.  
Would it hurt? Would she see him again? 

She knew she should get up and try to fight even if it was completely hopeless, she could try to find a gun that was still working and maybe she would have enough courage this time to shoot someone and defend herself. But she knew she didn't have the strength.

Instead, she closed her eyes tightly, laid down next to Marius and let herself surrender to the darkness of unconsciousness. 

~

Cosette woke up, feeling wet and weak, her head hurt, her muscles ached, she blinked, slowly lifted her head. Silence was around them, the only sounds were raindrops and distant steps. She looked around, there were bodies lying everywhere, blood, rain, she swallowed, feeling tears dwell in her eyes. They were all dead, weren't they? 

She turned to Marius, gently touched his cheek. His eyes were closed, but he was still breathing. Still alive. She breathed out relieved, carefully shaking him by the shoulders, but his head merely rolled to the side, his eyes remained closed.

"Marius...", she whispered, slowly feeling panic rising. What should she do? Get help? Try to bring him somewhere? What if there were still soldiers who would simply shoot her without asking? Were there anyone left? Would she even manage to take him somewhere safe? 

With shaking hands she brushed a strand of her out of her face, incidentally noticing that she didn't wear the hat anymore and her loose bun had opened. She glanced around, looking for something that could help her. No one was there. She was alone. 

She swallowed, slowly made her way to the injured ones, hoping one would be alive, just one... Carefully she touched Eponine's shoulder, shaking her softly.

"Eponine?", her voice was barely a whisper, she grabbed her hand. Cold. 

"No... please..." 

Bitter tears rolled over her cheeks, she wiped them away. She was dead too?  
Her old... friend from her childhood?  
They all were, except for Marius. Yet.  
God, she needed to help him, before it was too late. Somehow, there had to be something she could do, anything...

She crawled back to him, carefully examining the wound, that was still bleeding, surely it had to be stitched and treated by a doctor... But she had to stop the bleeding somehow.

Quickly she untied his cravat, opening his shirt, managed to tie it loosely around his shoulder. Better than nothing. She would take care of that later. Now she only had to take him away from here.

She jumped when she suddenly heard steps from behind her, didn't dare to turn around. Who was it? A soldier maybe? Would he shoot her? Should she play dead? Already expecting the pain, she slowly turned around, lifting her head up. Standing before her was a man, older than the students, even though he wore the French flag around his waist as well. For a brief moment she felt relieved, until his eyes met hers and she recognized him. It was the police inspector she had seen a few times in her life already, the last time in the city, shortly before she had met Marius for the first time. Javert was his name, she believed. And now? 

Cosette just stared up in his cold blue eyes, he back in hers. Did he recognize her? Only then she realized the wound on his head, why was he hurt? Did he fight as well? What was he still doing here?

"You." He said, Cosette held her breath, couldn't move. He didn't seem to have a weapon though, now as she thought of it. 

"Yes...?", she managed to say, grabbing behind herself and finding Marius' hand. Even if he could do nothing to help her. 

"Why are you here? You don't belong here. I will have to bring you home."

"No!", she quickly objected, stumbling to her feet, looking up to him pleadingly. 

"You have to help me bring him to a doctor! Please, Monsieur!"

"He is dead."

"He is not. Not yet. Please..."

Javert eyed her suspiciously, glancing behind her to Marius. He had to help her, he was her and especially Marius' only hope. She knew she would never manage to save him alone, she was too weak too exhausted. And even if he didn't look completely fit and healthy, he was a man and stronger and from the police, wasn't he? He had to help her! 

"You are Valjeans daughter, aren't you?"

She nodded quickly, then stopped. Was she supposed to lie? Frightened she stared at Javert, watched him kneeling down in front of her, nodding slowly. 

"I will help you to take care of that boy.  
But only if you promise to bring me to your father afterwards." 

"Why?"

"I have something to discuss with him. So?"

Cosette hesitated for a moment, briefly glancing back at Marius. Nodded.

"Alright. If you help me bring him to safety, I will take you home with me." 

He nodded shortly, gesturing her to help him with Marius. He laid his arm around his shoulders, stood up, slung his arm around his waist, Cosette joined him at Marius other side, steadying him as good as she could. He wasn't that heavy, not with Javert helping her as well, but she was afraid to hurt him.

After a few steps her arm began to hurt, she remembered the bullet that had grazed it, looked at the wound. It was still bleeding but had already begun to heal. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a few seconds, tightening her grip on Marius vest to support him. 

"Do we... have to climb over the barricade?", she asked quietly, carefully glancing up at Javert. 

He shook his head, nodded slightly to the side. 

"Around."

She swallowed, merely nodded, following him slowly. It was difficult to not letting go of him accidentally and making a way through the scattered furniture laying on the side. The Inspector kicked some wood out of the way, tightening his grip on Marius, she eyed him worriedly. He was pale, still unconscious but at least the wound had stopped bleeding. 

Cosette noticed after a while that this was the first time she was back on the other side of the barricade since the fighting had started. Now, with no one on the other side except for some dead soldiers, she shuddered at the sight. 

"Were you on their side? Did you fight with them?", Javert asked silently, she slowly looked up at him. She did, unintentionally. 

"Yes... I did." 

He nodded lightly, his expression not changing one bit. 

"Then you better not turn around."

"Wha- why...?", she asked, staring at him horrified. 

"Your leader."

"Y-Yes...?" 

She watched his eyes wandering over her head back to the barricade, shaking his head in disbelief. Why? What about him? He was dead, she knew that. So why did he react like that? 

"Look for yourself if you have to." 

Cosette breathed in, knowing she didn't want to see it. But she had too. If not for herself, then for Marius. He would ask, he would want to know what had happened to his friends. 

She turned around and gasped. Whatever she had expected, it wasn't that... Enjolras, still beautiful in death, hung backwards down the barricade, legs somehow stuck between furniture, the red flag underneath him. There was blood streaming down his face, dying his golden curls red, dripping to the ground, coming from the many shot wounds on his chest. His blue eyes were open, empty and lifeless.

She blinked and turned away. That was horrible. So horrible... She was glad Marius didn't have to see that. His friends like that... Dead. Not one of them deserved to die. Not like this.  
Blinking her tears away she tried to focus on the road in front of her and Marius' weight on her shoulder. 

Javert cast her a glance, not saying anything. Wondering if this didn't do anything with him, she bit her lip, trying to focus on moving forward. 

After a while Javert finally nodded to their right, she followed his gaze to a building that seemed to be small hospital. Surely there would be a doctor. He would help Marius. Relief washed over her, carefully she touched her beloved ones cheek, letting Javert open the door. 

The light was still on, there were two nurses sitting behind a desk, getting up as they entered.

"A boy from the barricade. He is hurt", Javert explained, bringing him closer.  
The two woman quickly prepared a bed, gesturing him to lay Marius down.

Cosette suddenly asked herself if Javert would arrest him after that. He broke the law after all, as well as all the others.  
But they were dead. And he wasn't.  
And what happened when she brought Javert home with her? Could she trust him? He was a police inspector after all. What would her father say? Did he notice by now? He had to, he always did...

"Thank you both. We will take care of him now", one of the nurses said, Cosette watched Marius concerned, the other woman already began to treat his shoulder. 

"Will he be well again?", she asked worryingly, she nodded after a few seconds. 

"But he needs rest. Is there any medical help needed at the barricade? Other survivors?" 

"None", Javert said, before she could open her mouth. The nurse stared at him, then nodded slowly.

"Alright. Just him then. You can go home now..." 

Cosette nodded, hesitantly turned to Javert. She felt tired, she wanted to go home, to her father but also stay with Marius. But she had promised.

 

"Lead me to your father now", the inspector said, closed the door behind her. 

"What do you want from him? Did he do something wrong?" 

"Don't worry about that. That is something only concerning your father and me." 

"But-" 

"I helped you, didn't I?", he cut her off, shaking his head.

"Now you're doing how you promised."

 

They didn't speak a word on the way to her home, Cosette worrying about Marius and what might happen to her father, sitting opposite of Inspector Javert in the carriage, feeling his blank gaze on herself. He didn't seem moved by all of what happened, what he had seen. But perhaps he just was good at hiding his feelings. 

When she looked out of the window again the sun was already rising. She should be thankful to see it, she knew. But she wasn't. She wasn't able to feel such a thing now. All that she could think was how they all died. How Marius would feel when he woke up and found out. He would be alone, he would have no one left but her. But she could never replace his friends... 

The carriage stopped, tensely she glanced at Javert, waited for him to get out, before following him and closing the door behind her. He paid, while she watched her home, trying to detect if her father was already up. There was light up the stairs, the curtains were open. 

Almost forgetting the inspector she made her way to the front door, halfway there it already opened.

"Cosette, thank God!" Her father pulled her into an embrace, she gladly returned it, feeling tears dwelling in her eyes. She couldn't imagine never seeing him again. But she was, she was well... 

"Where have you been, my dear? And what are you wearing? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm alright... I... I sneaked away at night... to the barricade in Rue de Villette..."

She was almost to ashamed to meet his eyes, even though last night it had seemed like the only right decision. Now as she thought back she could have woken him up. Perhaps he would have helped her even. But perhaps he would've just died like every other man. 

"What?" 

Her fathers green eyes stared at her in shock, she quickly grabbed his hands, squeezing them tightly to assure him she was fine. 

"I know, it was stupid of me, forgive me.  
But-"

"Come in first and warm yourself up. You can explain... later...", he ended slowly when his gaze met Javert's, who seemed to be standing behind her. 

"He promised me to bring Marius to safety, if I lead him to you..."

She turned around slowly to look at Javert, bit her lip when she noticed the small smile tugging at his lips. Was it wrong to agree to that? What was he going to do?

"I'm sorry...", she stuttered, turning back to her father. 

"I didn't know-"

"No worries, Cosette, you did nothing wrong. But tell me... who is Marius?" 

"A... a boy I met. He fought at the barricade. I... love him..." 

Her father stared at her as if she had lost her mind, before closing his eyes briefly and holding open the door.

"Come in. You as well, Inspector."

"I'd rather arrest you right now. Valjean."

Arrest? She watched them carefully, suddenly regretting agreeing to bring him here. But what would have happened to Marius, if he didn't help him? She never would have managed to bring him to a doctor alone... He would've died with his friends...

"Cosette...", her father said, looking at her. "I want you to go upstairs and sleep. I will do the rest. And then I'll get you and you'll explain."

She nodded quickly, didn't dare to answer back, she had already made everything worse. 

"Will you be alright, papa?"

"I will. I see you later, my dear."

She nodded slowly and took the stairs up to the first floor. She wished she could stay down and talk to him, explain everything, but she was so tired, she wouldn't be of much help. 

She opened the door to her bedroom, falling onto the bed. Everything felt dizzy and numb, the horror of what had happened last night slowly creeping back into her thoughts. She had seen so many people die... People who she had fought with, who protected her... young people like her... With their whole lives before them, with a family, a future... which they had just thrown away.

Marius, who would've died if she hadn't helped him. Suddenly she wondered if she could have done more. Help the others. Maybe some of them were alive.  
Maybe if they had gotten help from a doctor or a nurse. But Javert told her everyone of them had died, he must have checked it. If he had said the truth.

Her thoughts wandered back to Marius. Has he woken up by now? What would they tell him? How would he feel? Sad? Guilty? Would he get well again? Would he come to see her? Should she visit him? If her father would allow that... 

Closing her eyes she tried to push the vivid images of the barricade away, the blood, the screams... Wondered if it did something. Anything. For a better future. She didn't know. But she hoped so. 

She was tired, never had felt this tired before. No wonder, she had been awake all night long. And in this moment she didn't care that she still wore the dirty clothes that didn't fit her, that her hair was filthy and tangled and she had dirt and blood all over her. She just wanted to sleep. 

And it didn't take long and her tiredness overcame her and she fell into a long and deep sleep full of nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please tell me what you think in the comments!  
> <3 
> 
> I tried to keep it as realistic as possible; of course Cosette couldn't just save everyone and of course she would be scared af.  
> Also it is more inspired by the musical (than the film) because I've seen it live recently hehe...  
> (E/R was nICE)
> 
> Anyway, thank you again and there's probably going to be an epilogue to follow, so... :3  
> Thanks for reading again and have a nice day! :)


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